What Bipolar Disorder Means To Me

Bipolar Disorder

noun

A mental disorder marked by alternating periods of elation and depression.

What Bipolar Disorder means to me —

It means I will have good days and bad. Mainly bad, but hopefully I’m able to make good out of the given situation.

It means I will have periods of highs and lows and that I will have to set my own limitations to better manage my disorder.

It means that during either a high or low period, I will need to identify my phase and adjust accordingly.

Now of course these are standards I’m setting for myself and I’m feeling hopeful.

Living with Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Some days are better than others. But other days, I’m trapped inside of my own mind with no exit doors. I’m able to manage and hide my anxiety for the most part with the assistance of medication. But as common as anxiety is, I fear what others might think. Anxiety makes me feel claustrophobic in a wide open field. My mind travels a million miles a minute, while my body moves in slow motion. When it interferes with my daily activities, I feel defeated. How could I let this illness define me? It consumes your life and swallows you whole. You are not your own person. I feel as though I have a puppeteer guiding my every move. It makes you think things and analyze situations in a way that make you feel paranoid. I spend most of my day trying to convince myself that I am in control. But am I?