Meeting My Anxiety for the First Time

That day felt different than all of the rest. Even the wind seemed to blow differently. The taste of honey on my tongue was no longer pleasing. Something wasn’t right and that something was me.

The day I met my anxiety wasn’t my idea of how first dates should go. I was seventeen. I had such feelings I had never felt before. No these weren’t butterflies…these were piranhas tearing out my insides. Waves of panic and angst rushed over me. I didn’t know how to handle them and to be honest, I still don’t, but that’s not the point.

I was always the shy kid in my later teens. Never outgoing, afraid to speak if front of the class, type. But this day brought my fears to an all time high. I didn’t know what anxiety was. I could barely solve for x, let alone even begin to try and understand my mental health.

I remember sitting in the bathroom stall at school, crying, shaking, and thinking I was on my death bed. There it was, my first anxiety attack. I broke the seal, I cut the ribbon, I was now open for business.

If there is anything I learned from that day is to not cry in a high school bathroom because people will think you’re pregnant.

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