Insomnia and Anxiety

Toss and turn, toss and turn. If I lay too still, I feel too heavy as if my body is being pulled through my mattress. I feel myself drifting into something surreal for about 0.34 seconds and then my breathing wakes me up and I have to start the process all over again. And I get nowhere. Insomnia is rough. I’ve tried medications, meditation, deep breathing. Hell, I’ve even tried counting sheep; but that only gets my anxiety wound up. One, two, three, four…How many sheep should I count? I can’t leave one out. They need to be even numbers. No! Odd numbers. How should they hop the fence? Should there be a fence? What if I miscount? It doesn’t matter how quiet or loud my environment is, what’s going on in my head is a 1980s rock concert. The quiet keeps me up, the racing, intrusive thoughts keep me up — I can’t win.

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